I am, if I'm honest, addicted to having the answer. My husband might say, the right answer, but that's an entirely different story.

I identify as a highly decisive person. Ask me what I think about a headline, a hire, a holiday, a haircut, and I will tell you quick-smart and with total conviction. Sometimes and rather inevitably, my decisiveness can yield terrible results. But apparently despite the clangers, it's going to help me live longer. According to wellness expert Adrienne Adhami, author of Decisions That Matter, it isn't wrong decisions that iteratively drain you, it's the undecided ones. The amount of energy spent thinking, overthinking, canvassing opinion and then questioning your choices once the decision has been made is costing us deep rest, and our wellbeing with it.

This Live Well festival taught me many lessons, the most important being that even in well-trodden conversation, there are details we miss in life and plenty of facts we do not know, even ones and that could be the difference between life and an early demise.

Olympic gold medallist Victoria Pendleton gave the same idea a different shape.

Someone asked how she walked waled across a wire 100 feet above the London Stadium, with her heart rate staying under 60 beats per minute the whole way across. Her answer was almost insultingly simple: training a metre off the ground until her body understood the movement. In time, the 100 feet became, technically, the same wire. The height was never the obstacle; it was the story she was telling herself that held the power. We are in control of so much more of how we exist than we give ourselves the opportunity to explore, is what I took away from Pendleton.

Boil it down and this is not new news, hearing it from such an accomplished sportswoman, though, somehow framed the lesson differently. We all feel fear, we all hurt, it's what you do with those emotions that matters. She also talked about her twin brother, who died three years ago, and how she keeps him present. It had been their birthday the day before Live Well, and she'd left him an iced bun in front of his photograph, something they used to share as kids.

Pendleton doesn't care who finds that strange. And then, almost in the same breath, she told us about her horse in Dorset, her big ginger beautiful baby, and the specific joy of a velvet nose against your hand. Yes, fear, pain and deep contentment can peacefully coexist. We are not binary beings; there was something very true and comforting in hearing that.

When I think about the day in its entirety, what kept surfacing that we hadn't specifically programmed for was joy, not always horse-related, not even as a mood, but as a state to inhabit, one that has an enhancing effect on the body. I keep needing to remind myself to focus on the joy, we are so hardwired to latch onto the negatives. That was the essence of the Glimmers talk with authors and sisters Nadia and Katia Narain: deliberate moments of noticing something good, and what that does to your nervous system in real time. Wellness can mean supplements, and I was thrilled to receive more Wild Nutrition magnesium tablets in the goodie bag, but it can also be a potent state of mind. Or a nourishing friendship. Dr Anna Machin's research on the subject kept landing the same point. Connection isn't a nice extra for longevity, it's a mechanism.

There were so many incredible conversations; Polly Vernon's basic advice to just ask more questions, start basic and get informed struck a chord with me. "What is a vagina? In fact, what is a brain," was how she started research for her latest book. Overcomplicating information, important information that helps us build better relationships with our own bodies, is perhaps the most basic, most powerful advice I heard.

What did I see and feel? Well, I'm back to joy again. These kinds of events, the ones that many of us want to attend but often don't get around to booking, or feel mildly intimidated to show up to, always become vehicles to an alternate, blissful state. Honestly, I know how cheesy that sounds, but popping by the Bio Sculpture nail stations, where endless women were having a luxe moment, being tended to and polished amongst the chatter; the QVC beauty zone, I do not need an excuse to have a quick massage on a Friday morning. And don't get me started on Mint Velvet's styling suite: an autumn edit ready to go, and an embroiderer who added a delicate "AO" to my new favourite neckerchief.

Yes, I drank the Humantra hydration fluids like they were going out of fashion. Dispensed like a pint of beer, but with the opposite effect of a hangover, they kept me going and meant I was fully hydrated for perusing NIP+FAB's exclusive launch station (your skin is not going to know itself once you get onboard with their new The Fix trilogy of products), hosting plenty of panels and keeping up with the younger members of the team at the closing drinks party. Wellness is not always about stripping back; it can be filling your cup, literally, and growing your eyelash, thank you uklash.

The other thing I noticed was our guests themselves. Our audience looked nothing like the version of wellness often sold back to us: ultra-slim, white, the same six faces on every panel everywhere. I don't necessarily want to pat us on the back for that, I just want to keep it that way for every theALLBRIGHT event.

Earlier this week, on LinkedIn, I saw one guest explain how Live Well revived her. Her comment stopped me. Live Well didn't fix - it re-energised something that was already alive, she just needed the right conditions. Days like these aren't about more content, more answers or more expertise on more stages. They're simply more room, more connection and more joy, 3 ingredients our wellbeing should never lack.