Sophie Martin, Midwife and Influencer Known as the Infertile Midwife on social media, Sophie doesn't just hold down a full time job with the NHS, she also supports parents through challenging routes to parenthood. Alice Olins, Global Head of Content and Editor-in-Chief of theALLBRIGHT With over two decades experience at newspapers and women's glossy magazines, Alice works closely with journalists and content creators. Ronke Lawal, PR and Communications Consultant As the founder of Ariatu public relations, Ronke works with a wide range of consumer and lifestyle brands, as well as creative enterprises. She is also a communications coach. Antonia Forte-Digby, Partners Director, Platform Media With 18+ years' experience across Bauer Media, Global and WPP, Antonia specialises in media and agency partnerships, with a focus on audio, podcasts and social.*

Before you became a mother, how would you have described your professional identity; how much of that description still feels true today?

(AFD) Before becoming a mum, I would have described myself as ambitious and driven; I was always looking for the next opportunity and was happy to work long hours to achieve it. That ambition hasn't disappeared, but it's evolved. Today I'm just as committed to my career, but I'm much more intentional about where I invest my time and energy. I don't equate working the longest hours with being the most successful anymore. I measure success by the impact I have, not by how busy I look.

(R) Before becoming a mother, my professional identity was tied to overwork. I was very keen to prove my value ALL THE TIME. My line of work means that people are always questioning whether my services are worth paying for, so I leaned into exceptionalism whilst also always questioning myself. It was complex and exhausting. But since becoming a mother, I really embraced the fact that I am enough, that I hold value and I don't have to constantly prove it.

(AO) My professional identity used to be external, tied to my byline and achievements. Motherhood has softened my identity's edges. I am still looking to prove my professional value, to achieve, to be recognised, but alongside this now sits a fuller picture, one fuelled and informed by the life I have created as a mother. It tempers the external.

How did the practical reality of early motherhood, the logistics, the feeding, the sleep deprivation, the constant mental load, shape how you structure and protect your working time now?

(AO) Early motherhood is one of the sharpest learning curves a woman can face. We grow in skills, adaptability and emotional intelligence, largely from having to multitask, cope with minimal rest and make the seemingly impossible happen. Surviving this wind tunnel has shown me I can survive almost anything work throws at me. We rarely recognise this stage as a launchpad for later greatness, so it is something I celebrate in my team and friends whenever I can.

(S) Going back to work whilst still breastfeeding was a huge challenge, and I vividly remember expressing milk into the sink because I was so unprepared! I wish I'd known about Momcozy's amazing wearable pumps as that would absolutely have helped me! Now that I'm into more of a routine, I feel much more able to share the mental load with my husband. And failing that, I write list after list, so I don't forget anything!

Was there a specific moment during post-motherhood work when you surprised yourself: what do you think had changed?

(AFD) I remember being in a high-pressure client meeting where nothing was going to plan. Before children, I would have felt personally responsible for fixing each problem immediately. Instead, I stayed calm, prioritised what mattered and focused on finding solutions rather than dwelling on the issue. Motherhood teaches you very quickly that not everything goes to plan, and panicking rarely helps. That perspective has made me much more resilient professionally.

(R) When clients have panicked or become unreasonably demanding, I have managed it with more self-certainty, underpinning the fact that I deserve respect. I have realised that having seen what a woman's body can go through, there's no longer any amount of urgency that can compare to that. Whereas I used to stress, overthink and internalise how I'd respond, now I handle things with so much more assuredness. It's empowering.

Is there a skill or quality you bring to your professional life that you can trace directly back to something motherhood demanded of you?

(AO) Motherhood continues to demand plenty from me. It's a never-ending experience of learning, re-learning, messing up and moving on. This is how careers work too. There might be less emotions in the office, but the principles remain the same: be reflective, stay in tune with what and who you're dealing with, never assume you have all the answers, keep humble and adaptable." (R) "The skill motherhood has most directly improved in me is communication, because of the way I intentionally communicate with my daughter. I've become clearer and more confident: my communication feels so much more certain now.

(R) The skill motherhood has most directly improved in me is communication, because of the way I intentionally communicate with my daughter. I've become clearer and more confident: my communication feels so much more certain now.

(AFD) Prioritisation, without question. As a mum, you simply don't have the luxury of wasting time on things that don't matter. That has made me much better at decision-making. Rather than trying to do everything, I focus on what will make the biggest difference. At work, that means I'm often able to cut through complexity, identify what's important and keep projects moving when others get caught up in the detail.

What did you stop tolerating at work after becoming a mother that you now realise you should have stopped tolerating long before?

(S) The expectation to work over my hours. Motherhood gave me such an incentive to make sure I got home and provided stability for my family.

(R) Being undermined and disrespected. I used to absorb or swallow a lot of nonsense for the sake of keeping the client happy and now I'm much more direct and clearer with my boundaries. I owe it to myself and to my daughter to ensure that I do not carry work stress with me.

(AO) As I've grown in my motherhood, I've come to see that tolerating people or systems that don't align with my values makes me complicit in their behaviours. I am confident enough now to stand my ground, say my piece and deal with the consequences. Because staying true to what I believe is important is one of my core success metrics.

Did motherhood change the way you advocate for yourself; how and why do you think that happened?

(S) I think the process of becoming a mum (and going through loss and multiple rounds of IVF) gave me resilience in bucket loads. I genuinely feel like there is nothing I can't handle anymore."

(AFD) "Motherhood gave me confidence rather than taking it away. Once you've advocated for your children, navigated difficult situations and carried the responsibility of raising another human being, asking for what you deserve at work feels much less daunting. I've become more direct, more comfortable saying no, and more willing to back my own judgement because I know the value I bring.

Was there a decision you made about your career after becoming a mother that surprised the people around you?

(S) I'm not sure people were surprised, but I did decide to leave my NHS role after my daughter was born, so I could have greater flexibility to be available. [Note to Sophie: this sentence needs clarifying, "If my NHS role if my children were sick or needed me it was hard to leave work" reads as garbled, please confirm intended meaning] whereas now I know I can be there for them."

(AO) "Yes, I immediately left the big newspaper job I'd spent a decade building. Family comes first, and mine needed my whole attention at that point. It wasn't the plan, but it became my reality, and I wouldn't change it. We don't lose our jobs and titles, we build them into how we work now, and motherhood is part of that too.

What is the most counterintuitive thing motherhood has done for your professional life, something that would have seemed impossible or unlikely to your pre-mother self?

(R) It's made me more tech savvy!

(S) I've had far more senior roles than I did before. I've also gone back to full-time work in order to support the family.

Is there something you are better at as a leader, a colleague or a professional because you are a mother? Something you would find hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it?

(AO) I am less involved in myself, I am more aware of my impact on others, and I am hopefully a supportive leader and mentor who is happy to share and be vulnerable because how else do we learn from one another?

(AFD) Empathy. Not in a soft or sentimental way, but in genuinely understanding that everyone is carrying something you can't see. Motherhood teaches you patience, adaptability and how to read people beyond what's on the surface. I think I'm a better leader because I focus on outcomes while still recognising that people perform at their best when they feel understood and trusted.

How do you want the professional world to view what motherhood creates in women that it usually gets wrong?

(AO) Motherhood should be a line on every CV, as it is a catalyst for personal and professional growth. Motherhood is not a minimiser. Mothers are still too often seen as less than, when they are always more. That shift needs to be the starting point."

(R) "There is a quiet certainty and hunger that I now have which stems from becoming a mother, and I think the professional world needs to understand how many mothers have this hunger, not just for their children but for themselves, because of what we are capable of on a biological and familial structural level.

(S) How hard it is to show up at work when your children are unwell or not sleeping. You just have to keep going even when you are completely exhausted. I wish there was a greater understanding of this!

(AFD) Motherhood doesn't diminish ambition, it often sharpens it. It doesn't make women less capable; it develops skills that businesses actively need: resilience, emotional intelligence, prioritisation, negotiation, adaptability and calm under pressure. The biggest misconception is that mothers become less committed. In my experience, many become more focused because they know exactly why they're working and what they're working for. Employers shouldn't see motherhood as a limitation; they should recognise it as one of the greatest leadership development programmes there is.

Momcozy prioritise comfort and ease for women at the beginning of their motherhood journey